


featherman assemble

by hackercatz (tsunbrownie)



Category: Persona 3, Persona 4, Persona 5, Persona Q2: New Cinema Labyrinth, Persona Series
Genre: Akechi Goro Lives, Chatting & Messaging, F/F, F/M, Gen, I Wrote This For Me, M/M, Multi, Texting, University, and i'm so fucking old, but door-kun is ded, for the p5 kiddos. everyone else is older, mentions of hamuko but she doesnt appear :( my daughter, minato/souji/akira because i'm a manga purist, rest in peace minato. we all love you., spoilers for 345 but none for q2
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-25
Updated: 2019-10-25
Packaged: 2021-01-13 16:08:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21168035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tsunbrownie/pseuds/hackercatz
Summary: ULTRANAVIORACLE: THIEVESULTRANAVIORACLE: GANGULTRANAVIORACLE: FAMULTRANAVIORACLE: SQUAD





	featherman assemble

**Author's Note:**

> got stressed in the middle of my fic updates so this
> 
> also: i still have no idea how to write fox. this is so hard.

**_phantom 🔪🔪🔪_**

(**akiren**, **shihospanther**, **SKULL**, **monamona**, **hatredgoemon**, **Queen**, **ULTRANAVIORACLE**, **noi_r**)

**ULTRANAVIORACLE**: THIEVES

**ULTRANAVIORACLE**: GANG 

**ULTRANAVIORACLE**: FAM

**ULTRANAVIORACLE**: SQUAD

**ULTRANAVIORACLE**: WHATEVER 

**ULTRANAVIORACLE**: guess who finally got the context info for the investigation team

**ULTRANAVIORACLE**: im a CHAMP 

**hatredgoemon**: And not SEES's? I thought you to be a computer genius.

**ULTRANAVIORACLE**: SHUT IT INARI

**ULTRANAVIORACLE**: I AM A GENIUS but Mitsuru Kirijo is Very Important and Fuuka is a Really Good Hacker 

**ULTRANAVIORACLE**: not sayin I met my match I'm saying I am playing on insane classic 

**ULTRANAVIORACLE**: it takes STRATEGIZING. and Time.

**noi_r**: I'm sure you can do it futaba-chan!! 

**ULTRANAVIORACLE**: S SUPPORT WITH NOIR 

**ULTRANAVIORACLE**: we could make a whole group 

**akiren**: or you could give me souji and minato's number so we dont scare the absolute shit out of their cybersecurity team 

**ULTRANAVIORACLE**: well there is a problem with that 

**ULTRANAVIORACLE**: i the genius all seeing oracle cannot find any data regarding minato arisato 

**ULTRANAVIORACLE**: like our fearless subleader v2 

**ULTRANAVIORACLE**: is dead 

**shihospanther**: contact hamuko-chan then :((

**ULTRANAVIORACLE**: sadly my internet abilities are restrained to this parallel world only, panther!!! 

**SKULL**: I mean we gotta teall one of our teammates is gone too rite 

**SKULL**: wwe dont havw crow anympre 

**Queen**: Ryuji, for God's sake, turn on your autocorrect.

**SKULL**: i didc it last time???

**ULTRANAVIORACLE**: I turned it off. Ryuji's typos are what gets me going 

**SKULL**: WOW ORACL3

**noi_r**: ah... akira-kun is surprisingly quiet.

**ULTRANAVIORACLE**: he got over akc now though he doesn't stare at the Phantom thieves interviews with the angst crushed face anymore 

**akiren**: uh. futaba. about that.

**akiren**: I have news for you all

** _akiren_ ** _ added _ ** _suzui_kamura_ ** _ in the chat_

**shihospanther**: wtf akiren dont add randos

**akiren**: that is not a rando this is my boyfriend 

**shihospanther**: W0T YOU HAD A BF AND YOU NEVER TOLD ME!?!?!?!?!?

**ULTRANAVIORACLE**: hey no offense but this is no place for a normie as yourself

**ULTRANAVIORACLE**: but then if you are dating akira you are not that normal I will hack your phone and we will talk later 

**ULTRANAVIORACLE**: still this is a thief chat wtf akira remove him 

**akiren**: wait I have an explanation!!!

**suzui_kamura**: what the FUCK akira 

**suzui_kamura**: AKIRA KURUSU YOU LITTLE FUCKING

**akiren**: not what you were saying last night honey

**suzui_kamura**: HOW DO I GET OFF 

**akiren**: I wish I could be there to show you myself :( 

**suzui_kamura**: I'll kill you

**akiren**: good I look forward to it 

**akiren**: now while our friend over there tries to find the exit button 

**akiren**: so I have important news for you all

** _akiren_ ** _ changed _ ** _suzui_kamura's_ ** _ nickname to _ ** _crow(yi kamen)_ **

**akiren**: so 

**akiren**: suzui kamura, aka akechi goro meet the phantom thieves

**ULTRANAVIORACLE**: WHAT 

**shihospanther**: WHAT

**SKULL**: WHAT

**Queen**: What. 

**noi_r**: _what._

**hatredgoemon**: I see.

**ULTRANAVIORACLE**: **_WHAT_**

**crow(yi kamen)**: akira I AM IN WITNESS PROTECTION. 

**crow(yi kamen)**: do you know what that means, akira. I am in Witness Protection. Because Some People Want To Kill Me. and by some I mean A Lot. 

**akiren**: and that is the next big news! You aren't anymore!!! Sae said she got enough busted and the system's mostly dismantled so you can go back to being akechi goro again. 

**akiren**: I mean they can't say 100% but 98% of the threat should be gone. and she thinks if what she heard from you is real you are a more threat to the 2% than they are a threat to you

**akiren**: sae said no more murder. you need to pinky promise me once you get back

**akiren**: anyways. that is why I added you to this chat!!! 

**crow(yi kamen)**: This is a lot to take in COULDN'T YOU HAVE WAITED AND TOLD ME THIS BEFOREHAND? 

**akiren**: you have no rights shut up and wait for my friends/sister to accept u are not dead 

**ULTRANAVIORACLE**: wait. wait just a fucking second you goddamn troll. you are dating. akechi goro

**ULTRANAVIORACLE**: THAT'S WHY YOU SHUT UP ABOUT HIM OH MY GOD I CANNOT FUCKING BELIEVE YOU WERE OFF DATING YOUR DEAD BF WHEN WE GENUINELY FELT SORRY FOR YOU

**ULTRANAVIORACLE**: I CANNOT BELIEVE

**akiren**: he's also the reason why your mother got full recognition for her cognitive world research though. 

**ULTRANAVIORACLE**: I THOUGHT IT WAS YOU. 

**akiren**: I'm like, 2% of the evidence. goro had her research papers that convinced the judge 

**crow(yi kamen)**: Ah... sakura-san. You should have the original copy now. it's the least I can do for you.

**ULTRANAVIORACLE**: feeling like im being bribed with my own mother's research paper for forgiveness. also it's futaba you savage sakura-san is sojiro

**crow(yi kamen)**: Ah... I don't deserve your forgiveness.

**ULTRANAVIORACLE**: too bad you get it anyways

**ULTRANAVIORACLE**: I've had a long 3 years to think about this

**ULTRANAVIORACLE**: the conclusion is that i am too good to be hung over this and my mother would have wanted me to forgive you

**ULTRANAVIORACLE**: you are exactly the people she wanted to save with her research. and i am going to keep up her work

**noi_r**: same with me. i will never be able to get over my father's death, but i cannot blame you for what you have done because you were in a worse place than all of us.

**crow(yi kamen)**: I... I don't know what to say.

**akiren**: 'thank you' is a good start 

**crow(yi kamen)**: Of course... thank you. 

**Queen**: Is this why my sister was so busy? I knew she was working with someone but I really never thought it'd be you. Kept complaining about a bastard.

**crow(yi kamen)**: Yes, that'd be me. 

**SKULL**: so is akechi bullying very much on the atbale

**shihospanther**: 'atbale'

**SKULL**: LOOK.

**SKULL**: OH GOD MHOW DO YOU TURN THIS OFF IT GOT STUCK AGAIN 

**ULTRANAVIORACLE**: you don't. because youre stuck on caps for the rest of your life now 

**crow(yi kamen)**: I don't understand. 

**ULTRANAVIORACLE**: ofc u dont . u were missing for THREE YEARS pay for your sins (absence) with ignorance

**crow(yi kamen)**: I don't like this.

**akiren**: sorry honey we understand why you were dead to take down a goddamn conspiracy but you did murder two parents in this group

**akiren**: you have no rights here

**akiren**: someone change the group name

** _noi_r_ ** _ changed the chat name to _ ** _goro akechi has no rights zone_ **

**noi_r**: I have done it !!! 

**akiren**: thanks haru you are always such a darling <3 haru rights are very very much existent. 

**Queen**: I will fight anyone who goes against this.

**SKULL**: NO ONE IS CALM DOWN QUEEN 

**hatredgoemon**: Why is Ryuji typing with all caps again? Did it get stuck again?

**ULTRANAVIORACLE**: nah 

**hatredgoemon**: I see... 

**akiren**: but you know what this means right!!! 

* * *

**_big bro_**

**Futaba**: you could have warned me jackass 

**Akira**: sorry I had to throw it before anyone had time to argue about it

**Akira**: and before goro could excuse himself with his stupidly flexible mind 

**Akira**: okay I wasn't thinking either 

**Futaba**: goddamnit akira 

**Akira**: You did really good, Futaba. I'm proud of you. 

**Futaba**: awww thanks big bro it does feel like a huge chunk of weight is gone from my heart tho. feels rly good. the guy is a jackass but he didnt deserve to die

**Futaba**: also very happy for you!!! but you owe me 40 runs to ike for hiding ur boyfriend was goro akechi 

**Akira**: text me souji and whoever is most reachable apart from minato 

**Futaba**: aigis is fine??? she should probably react the fastest since everyone else is working now 

**Akira**: yea! let's do this 

* * *

** _goro akechi has no rights zone_ **

(**akiren**, **shihospanther**, **SKULL**, **monamona**, **hatredgoemon**, **Queen**, **ULTRANAVIORACLE**, **noi_r, crow(yi kamen)**)

**shihospanther**: party at LeBlanc!!!!!!!!!!

**Queen**: I'm assuming there will be a lot of booze?

**akiren**: we are not 17 anymore of course there will be 

**ULTRANAVIORACLE**: ah yes my favorite hobby watching akira embarrass himself in front of everybody 

**ULTRANAVIORACLE**: and skull. and fox. 

**crow(yi kamen)**: ah... I won't be able to, I'm afraid. Alcohol is a depressant, not to mention they won't go so well with my pills.

**akiren**: noir can you bring something non alcoholic!!!

**noi_r**: i'll bring a can of sprite!!! 

**akiren**: NOIR RIGHTS NOIR RIGHTS NOIR RIGHTS 

**Queen**: And something really strong, too. 

**noi_r**: anything for my queen! 

**akiren**: goro would you do anything for me too

**crow(yi kamen)**: I'd murder you for you.

**akiren**: wOW 

**shihospanther**: okay despite my initial diagnosis you could be made into one of us 

**crow(yi kamen)**: I will not disappoint, senpai. 

**hatredgoemon**: I'll bring my carving tools.

**shihospanther**: (^: naked picture of crow

**crow(yi kamen)**: wait WHAT 

* * *

**_big bro_**

**Futaba**: _Contact::Souji Seta_

**Futaba**: _Contact::AEGIS_

**Futaba**: Good luck!

**Akira**: I have the best little sister ever.

**Futaba**: flattery will get you everywhere. come back and help me assemble my featherman mecha together

**Akira**: ofc! 

**Author's Note:**

> talk to me on @tsunbrownie - twitter and nowhere else you can see an old man yell at clouds


End file.
